For the last two years I have volunteered at Andrew’s school through the “Watch D.O.G.S” program. The idea is to spend the day in the school working with kids on reading, math, or playing games. At Andrew’s school it’s really well organized and they have a printed schedule that lists the classes, teachers, and times of where I need to be and the teachers have activities I do with the kids.

They always make sure that one of the classroom visits includes your child’s room and you get to have recess and lunch with your kid.

Last week I did my day and it was too cold to go outside for recess so they do an in class recess. It’s free time to play on the computer, do art, read books, or whatever you want to do.

As I was walking around the third grade class seeing what everyone was up to there was a group of boys sitting on the ground looking over a D.C Comics Super Hero Fandex. It looked really cool so I sat down in a chair to chat with them and the conversion when something like this.

Me: That looks really cool.

Kid 1: Yeah, it has all the D.C. Comics Super Heroes in it.

They started fanning through the characters showing me some of their favorites and they were so excited the two boys were talking over each other.

Me: One of my favorite characters is the Green Arrow.

Kid 2: Oh, yeah, he’s in there (as he tries to grab the book from Kid 1 to show me the page.)

Kid 1: Yeah, do you watch the Arrow series? We’ve seen all the episodes.

Me: What other characters are in there?

Kid 1: Here’s Batman, Batgirl, the Oracle

Me: Oracle, I’ve never heard of her.

Kid 2: Yeah, she used to be Batgirl but then she was attacked by the Joker

Kid 1 interrupting Kid 2: The Joker surprised her and and shot her

Kid 2 interrupting Kid 1: No, she opened the door first and he was there and surprised her then then shot her and now she is paralyzed.

One of the kids stands up at this point and shows me with his hands at his stomach and moves them down to his legs adding “Just from the waste down.”

Me: That’s sad, I didn’t know that happened. Look who’s next, Batwoman, I didn’t know there was both a Batwoman and a Batgirl.

Kid 2: Yea, she’s a lesbian

Whoa, What!!! Did I just hear that right.

I’m not proud of it but at this point I lost and and started laughing out loud.

The first kid looked totally confused

Kid 1: What?

Kid 2: Yeah, you know, a lesbian.

More confused looks from Kid 1. He had no idea what was going on.

Kid 2: You know…..she’s gay!

More confused looks from Kid 1. He has no idea what Kid 2 is talking about.

I intervened at this point and steered the conversation away from Batwoman. I hate to see what the dinner table conversation at Kid 1’s house was going to be.

The things you learn from 3rd graders.